Shocked: What is happening to my America?

For Tony and I, blogging takes a back seat to so many other things these days. But I've always seen blogging as a release from stress. So, when I don't blog for months, there's often more to it than that I'm just busy. In the past half year, the things foremost on my mind are also all over the news (at least the news we watch and read) and, unfortunately, they're of the more unpleasant variety, unpleasant enough that it becomes heavy and redundant to repost on on my rather light-hearted blog. But it's become overwhelming just how many jaw-dropping, ire-evoking, mentally and emotionally disturbing stories have surfaced this year and how their frequency is only increasing in pace. I feel like I'm watching the death of my nation and the decay of my freedoms every day. And at the top of the list are all the new abuses being put forth by the TSA under the guise of "protection". I've never seen anything more resemble the Nazi offenses in WWII movies than what they're doing now to men, women, the elderly & children. The videos and stories are of scared, paralyzed parents watching their children in distress and of modest, decent people leaving airports true victims of sexual assault. And the perpetrators are protected and revered by our government officials. They're allowed to mock, ridicule and commit crimes with their hands. Many have proven themselves bullies and predators and have not attempted to mask their enjoyment of their new power.

And I'm even more interested in what awful longterm consequences we can expect to surface from forced irradiation by body scanners.

Where are the doctors? psychiatrists? mental health professionals? These are our patients, our familes and friends. We have to stand up and be vocal. We are not sheep to be lead.

Stand up!

Boycott flying!

Read http://wewontfly.com/ and its blog posts and links, especially this one:

http://www.ourlittlechatterboxes.com/2010/11/tsa-sexual-assault.html

and

http://mytsahorrorstory.com/

and, if you're on facebook, join the "Boycott Flying" page!

Greater Pursuits

It's not hard to believe that it's been 8 months since my last blog post. In the layer cake of priorities that is my current life, there was barely enough room for facebook, which is at least somewhat related to real life activities and relationships. And anyway, it's really not easy for internship and anything else to coexist. And then, the same could be said for motherhood or marriage, I suppose. Then you add the time it takes to keep up with what's going on in this mixed-up world of ours and blogging really falls out of the top 10 spot it used to occupy.

This week was a staycation week. The 2nd week I've taken off since starting residency last July. It really took an entire week to feel rested again and get back to any semblance of normal family life in our house. And suddenly there are a few extra minutes to sit down and revitalize the blog. I wouldn't be so foolish as to declare that posts will be coming more frequently, but with 8 months of as yet unblogged photos and topics, there's no shortage of inspiration.

Sleep Bank, Cloudy Weekend

My sleep bank bled slowly throughout the week, only to dump me into my call-free weekend feeling wiped. It's taken a couple naps to really top off my tank and get me ready to take on the next week. Having said that, I suppose I'm squandering some of that by being up til 12:30. *sigh*

It was a strange, choppy weekend. Our parents were either working or traveling and so that meant the Pooplet remained with us at all times. Perfect for family reconnection, bad for the to-do list.

And I believe she's cutting a new tooth on the top. I'm happy that it'll round out her existing 5 teeth and make her smile more symmetrical. But heaven sakes, the child is fussy. Cuddly, but fussy. She'll be our delightful, smiley giggly Isabella one minute, then *flash!* here comes McFussikins and her Pouty Lip or McGrumpikins and her disconcerted squeal.

I have a great picture of just such an expression.

It just so happened that the Michigan weather had a similar dark and brooding mood this weekend. Though it only rained hard once all weekend, it always looked like it was going to storm or rain anytime. Don't you get the feeling Isabella could liberate a bolt of lightening and a clap of thunder at any time too?

My First 10 Days as an Intern

So since graduation, I've spent 2 weeks in Spain, a week moving, 2 weeks of orientation/moving and last Wednesday I started on the inpatient floors at Helen DeVos Children's. And the way my schedule fell, today is my first day off! It felt amazing just to sleep in until the Pooplet alarm went off.

Internship's gotten off to an encouraging start. It's overwhelming to start any new job, let alone one where your performance and picking things up quickly effects other families so much. But it's gone really well. My 2 nights of call were at opposite sides of the spectrum with 2 admits and 3 hours sleep one night and 4 admits and no sleep the other. Ack!

I'll work on posting some Spain pics next.

Done!

Last day of med school rotations! On to graduation in 3 weeks!

Isabella & GR Update

It's been a couple months now since we stayed overnight at the epilepsy monitoring unit at Children's and got our diagnosis of Benign Paroxysmal Torticollis squared away. Since then, Isabella's development has been nothing but normal. She hasn't had any more seizures and hasn't worried Mommy and Daddy with any new symptoms. She continues to have BPT spells occasionally where she'll drop her head to the side and fuss a little just like before, which only strengthens my confidence in that diagnosis. I get the sense that she's perhaps dizzy or nauseous when she has her spells and she seems to have some mild trouble with balance and coordination during those times but between episodes she's progressing right on target with her motor milestones, if not a little advanced in some areas. She's saying "mama" and "dada" and sometimes seems to use them correctly depending on who she's with but she's still saying them pretty nonspecifically at this point. But that doesn't make it any less exciting of course. :)

After our news of the match in GR, our focus has shifted toward real estate hunting and planning our spring/early summer with internship activities starting on June 15 and the real action (first real day on the job) starting July 1. April will be my last rotation in medical school, pediatric infectious disease, here at Vanderbilt and then it's off to a couple weddings, moving, graduation, Isabella's first birthday (yeah, already!) and a 2 week honeymoon in Spain. Caramba!

Puzzle Me Pooplet

Little Pooplet's had an eventful last month and a half for being an overall very healthy 8 month old. Some friends and family have heard part of the story here or there depending on which point in the process you spoke with us but overall there hasn't really been much to tell until now because we didn't know much.

It began on December 14, a Sunday morning, over in Gatlinburg, TN, where we had taken a short weekend trip. Pooplet had just woken up and I was feeding her when she lost eye contact with me and became less responsive, then proceeded to have 2 short seizures. We called an ambulance and ended up in the ER in Pigeon Forge. By then, she had come to but was very sleepy and confused by everything that was going on. Vitals were normal in the ER. No fever. She had labs drawn, xrays and a CT scan. Nothing.

When we got home, we followed up with neurology at Vanderbilt. The big question was: was it an isolated seizure or was there some cardiac event that caused it? She got an EEG, normal.

Now, thinking back, she had had 2 episodes prior to the one on December 14 with no seizure, but where she became somewhat floppy for seconds to minutes. We shared this with the neurologist, who said they could very well be syncope, or fainting, spells of some kind, which can be a periodical and benign occurance in some kids. We agreed to do nothing and observe unless it happened again.

It did happen again, about a week later. Got an EKG to see if there might be something wrong with the electrical conduction of her heart that could be giving her an arrhythmia. Instead, the EKG showed interference (Tony said she was really wiggly) and possible findings consistent with heart enlargement, which prompted an appointment with cardiology this week.

Well, before we could get to that, there had been one more thing going on in the background with a very gradual onset, becoming obvious at around the end of December. Suddenly and with no apparent triggers, Isabella would drop her head to the left and turn it inward, then go back to normal. Well this had become much more frequent during the time I was gone interviewing (I was gone January 5 - 26) and was happening many times each night by the time I got home. I was very worried. My experience with one particular patient, a baby, whose head dropped over to one side (though he could not straighten it like Isabella could), who turned out to have a tumor at the back of his brain, did not help. I talked to the neurologist again and this time sent him a youtube video I'd taken of Isabella's head drop. He wanted to make sure there was no associated seizure activity and was also very concerned, so we went into the hospital last night to the inpatient epilepsy monitoring unit so she could have a continuous EEG overnight and be videotaped.

Well, she did do it many times and it was witnessed and thankfully, there was no associated seizure activity. Also, in lieu of this week's scheduled cardiology appointment, Isabella also got an echocardiogram (ultrasound of the structure and function of the heart) in order to rule out a cardiac cause of her fainting spells. That too was normal.

I wish I had more time to write but I really need to sleep (Vanderbilt interview tomorrow!). So I'll skip to the end. At this point, we're probably 75% confident that she has something called benign paroxysmal torticollis of infancy (BPTI), something she'll most likely grow out of. That explains her head drop. We're still not entirely sure about her fainting spells but at this point, what really matters is that we've ruled out the serious causes.

We're so so thankful that our Pooplet is healthy!

More on BPTI later. Or Google it. It's fairly rare and as such, the residents asked me to present her during a morning conference. Hopefully I'll be around when it's presented. What a week! Off to sleep.

Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers!

When I Grow Up

After each clerkship is finished, I usually have to reassess my thoughts on just where it is I'm headed on this medical map. After nearly 7 weeks spent in the crazy, bloody world of general (and this week trauma) surgery, my feelings need some sorting through. Rather unexpectely, I really enjoyed surgery. I wouldn't say I thrived in it (yet), it felt like a constant uphill trek. But I liked it. I loved the challenge and I loved the hands-on healing aspect. And I got some good feedback from residents and attendings that let me know I'm at least not too clearly ill-suited for a career in surgery. Last week, I even dared to check out some prospective surgery residencies at Vandy online for giggles. Problems I have with surgery? Very demanding residency, leaving little time for my new family and my kid(s). Difficult to be pregnant as a surgery resident, as I most likely will be again if not a few times during the next 7 years. So for those reasons, it falls a distant second to peds at this point, but I can't rule it out either. Next up, ob/gyn and babies, babies, babies!

Making Time Out of Nothing At All

Surgery is keeping me from doing much at all, including blogging. *grumbles* Though I'd still say I'm enjoying myself. I wouldn't expect the steepest portion of the 3rd year learning curve to be anything less than exhausting, especially whilst 5 months pregnant.

At the moment, it's snowing like crazy and folks on the tele are predicting worse overnight. Too bad there are no circumstances which could keep me from being expected to risk life and limb to make it to the hospital in the morning. And with that, I go to bed. It's actually, at 8:43 pm, it's already past my (surgery rotation) bedtime.

*Yawn*

Weekend Full of Suprises

This weekend easily slid into the top spot on my all-time greatest life moments countdown. We found out we're having a baby girl (we'd guessed boy the whole time) and shortly after the ultrasound, Master Tony proposed in the kitchen at his parents' house. It was lovely, as is my new band of (white) gold. The blue sapphires on either side make this ring a perfect blend of classic and unusual, better than I could've ever thought up on my own. Just like us.

Electronics Catastrophe of 2008

In 1999, my first laptop was rendered out of commission for a year or so after a glass of milk tumbled out of my hand and onto its keyboard, seeping into the crevices and corroding everything it came in contact with. Same with my first digital camera in 2002 after a vodka and fruit juice fiasco. Both were colossal oops's that'll go down in history as some of my dumbest moves ever. Both were sent off to the manufacturer and fixed at barely worth fixing vs. replacing costs but were salvagable in the end. Amazingly enough, they're both still around and functioning today.

Can't say that brand of fortune will extend to my latest electronics disaster. Both Firedog and the Geek Squad agree (PC diagnostic services at Circuit City and Best Buy), my latest two and a half year old HP laptop is now a paperweight. This time it wasn't beverage-related, thankfully, but I was still responsible. After shuffling around in my bunny slippers doing this and that, I simply touched the keyboard and *ZAP* the static electricity I discharged went on to fry both the motherboard and the hard drive. They couldn't even get the hard drive to respond long enough to do a data transfer to my new machine. Luckily I backed up everything important (good Angela), but only as far back as the end of June '07 (bad Angela). Among the losses, all my photos of my August trip to Vegas and of Kristy's wedding. But fortunately, I happen to have stored the best of those online. All in all, nothing devastating was lost (that I can remember thus far). The hardest loss to swallow has really been all the music I'd accumulated in 10 years' time. *tear*

You can bet I'll be enstating two new practices this year:

1. Actively discharging static on an object other than my laptop, and
2. Investing in an external hard drive back-up.

Goodness Me

Ack! Be at the hospital at between 5 and 5:30am every day? Stay til 5 or 6pm? Surgery's gonna get crazy. At least I have some blissful holiday memories to hang on to while I slave.

Christmas Approaches

I'm nearly finished with family med! The last month of outpatient actually went pretty fast. It was a great month. Tomorrow's off for studying. Exam Friday. Then Master Tony comes to town. And I'll even get to see Miss Jackie Sunday night. Then, after the holiday, it's off to Nashville til Jan. 6.

Feliz Navidad!

Last Week of Family Med

Just putting the finishing touches on the family med rotation before I have to take the shelf exam on Friday. And of course, like all final weeks, it's full of deadlines and must-do's, some of which I'd really rather not. For instance, even though I had a lovely time researching and learning about my community resource (really, pretty enjoyable as projects go), a Catholic Social Services program called Healthy Start, I'm not even getting graded for the presentation I spent about 3 hours on tonight. *Sigh* Here's the powerpoint I put together. It's really a great program, I'm just grumpy because tonight I had to "work for free" in my off hours too. My sense of altruism is already on vacation.

Thanksgiving in Music City

Tony & I opted to spend Thanksgiving together at Donelson Manor since he'll be coming home for Christmas. We (ok, I had very little to do with it) cooked Thanksgiving lasagna--always scrumptious, played Scrabble and Blokus, cleaned the house and took a drive around the Tennessee countryside on Saturday. This was a particularly short trip so I did my share of boo-hooing when it was over. Whether I'm there for 3 days or 3 weeks, saying goodbye never gets any easier.

Lucky Me!

Out of the blue, I was given both this afternoon and tomorrow morning off. *happy dance* Partially because my classmate was sick, partially because I was on call last night and partially because the residents have a conference tomorrow. So the stars aligned themselves in my favor and all of a sudden I have some extra time on my hands to accomplish daytime things I never get to do. Oh, and I get to nap. :)

Missing Peds

Well, the time has come to move on to the next clerkship but my heart's still in peds. I misses the kiddies! Yes, I'll see some in family for sure. But it's definitely not the same as being able to see all kiddos. Some of the parents made me want to pull my hair out but the kids themselves are darlings. I sometimes wished I could take one home with me. :) Scary, their parents probably would've taken me up on that.

Goodness Me!

So few posts lately. Well, things should be picking up again here on the Daily Dose. As occasionally happens with Mistress Angela, life gets in the way of the more fun distractions. Peds is clipping along at a feverish pace and will be finishing up this coming Friday with the shelf exam. So far I've spent 4 weeks with hospitalized patients, 2 weeks split between newborn nursery and resident clinic, and last week was spent on the peds hematology/oncology service. This last week will be spent at my very own former pediatrician's office, Kent Pediatrics on West River Drive, where I was a patient of Dr. Kokx until I was 18 and where my dream of becoming a doctor was born. So the story comes full circle.

Catching Up

Took a lil trip to TN. Gotta play a bit of catch up, then maybe there'll be some blogging later this week.

Apostal

So this week's events have landed the blog at the bottom of the priority list. On Saturday, I attempted to reorganize a few things in my trailer out back, namely kitchen items I planned on sending home with Master Tony. I discovered a mouse had gone and turned my trailer into her personal nursery for 8 or so wriggling babies. Not acceptable. So the day was spent evicting her and her kids, which, if given only another week may have joined in the collective nibbling of my belongings. Then Tony's grandma passed away and I found out he was driving up and would be here for the first part of the week. Then the general pace of my school schedule seems to have picked up this week. Send all the calming thoughts you can spare my way. :)