True Confessions

I started my first IV yesterday. I, who have had to gradually come to terms with the fact that watching any procedure involving needles reliably nauseates me. It's demoralizing. I keep wondering to myself, what's the deal?? I love watching surgery on TV. I had no trouble watching my aunt deliver, episiotomy and all. I never really had a particular fear of needles. But apparently that doesn't translate to being ok with lumbar punctures and IVs. Regardless of how much I know and understand, exposure to these things has been quite different than I expected. Last week, I finally had to leave the room during a lumbar puncture when I started to wonder how long I'd be able to remain vertical. Granted, it was a difficult stick and the resident kept having to maneuver the thing til she struck CSF. But I was the only lame-o med student who had to run for the hallway and a glass of water. I finally had to admit to myself that there was some serious work to be done on the way to desensitization. Managing to get through that IV clinic was the first step. Something tells me there may have been an element of divine intervention in having my surgery rotation scheduled last.